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Mini Relationship Tip: Come Some Other Time

“A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, ‘I guess we answered that question.'” ~ Author Unknown

blondeinwhite copyHere’s another way to answer the question of who comes first – or at all.

Ready? No one. Neither of you!

The point of this is to shift the goal of a sexual experience from climax to exploration of sensation and expansion of pleasure.

So often sex is so climax-focused and goal-oriented that you can miss out on a ton of amazing stuff along the way. This is about re-defining the goal as the pleasurable process itself.

Here’s how it goes:

(Note: adjust this accordingly, depending on if you will be doing this with a partner, or by yourself)

1. Prepare an inviting, sexy, sensually-rich, comfortable space.

2. Take a moment to connect, settle down from whatever you were doing before.

3. Feel free to do whatever sensual and sexual things you want, however you usually do it, but remember to stay present to the sensations. The goal is to have each moment be more pleasurable than the last.

If you feel your mind wandering, bring it back to what is going on, what sensations you are experiencing. If you feel close to climax, relax and breathe into the sensations, spreading them from your genitals throughout your body.

4. Continue, experiment, breathe, indulge, relax, communicate and enjoy! But, Come Some Other Time.

OPTIONAL: Take some time to share the experience – what it was like for you to have sexual experience that’s focus was NOT focused on orgasm/climax, but on everything but?

What did you learn, what did you like, what would you like to throw away, what would you like to include in your future love-making?

By the way, this isn’t to mean you should NEVER climax, just not THIS time 😉 .

“At some point while in the midst of making love, stop. Don’t move. Look into your lover’s eyes. Breathe in slowly and inhale their being. Feel God through them. Then continue to make love not as two people, but as
a God and a Goddess.”
~ Anonymous



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