Archive for March, 2011
Next week, I’m in the Super Women Summit, a powerful posse of women entrepreneurs sharing our super secrets.
I’m offering a class titled, “Turn Your Sensuality into Business Power”
I’ll cover the four secrets of feminine energy so you can rev your business engines and stimulate your bottom line!
• How to stay a woman as you’re making it in a man’s world
• What creative opportunities you may be wasting when you are cut off below the waist
• How your hormones can help (rather than hurt) your efficiency
• The #1 ingredient you need in every relationship – without which they are doomed
• How your unique brand of femininity can be your secret business sauce
Click HERE get in on the Summit yourself.
For a majority of my years in business for myself, I tried to be successful by ignoring the irrefutable fact I am a woman.
Surprise, surprise: that didn’t work very well.
I had to figure out, with a lot of trial, error and tears, how to stay connected to my body, my juice and my joy, even while in business!
It will be fun to share what’s been working for me, so I hope you’ll be joining.
Oh, and some other super women I highly suggest you listen in on: Anastasia Netri, Carey Peters, Jenn August and Alexandra Jamieson – Fabulous Femmes I know personally.
That link again to get in on the Summit, use this link: http://tinyurl.com/supwom
Enjoy, super duper woman,
You sit in a circle, and one person whispers a word or phrase into the ear of the person next to them. Then each person in turn whispers it to the next. Then last person says out loud what beat-up, garbled version the word or phrase has become.
Your communication ever feel like an adult’s version of that kid’s game - but not that funny?
Well, there’s what you heard, and then there’s what they said.
What you hear is often a far cry from than what person intended. Since language is an approximation, we all interpret the same words in often vastly different ways. Stopping to clarify in this way can save you so much of the pain that comes from the build-up of repeated misunderstanding.
So, when that Someone says what’s on their mind, before you agree, disagree, judge, retort or respond, repeat it back, as you heard it.
Something like, “If I got that right (repeat back what you heard)” or “What I heard was (repeat back what you heard). Did I get that right?”
You may even need to check, “Let me see if I got all of that?” or “Is there any more you want to say about that?”
And (for extra bonus points!), validate their experience. Something like, “You make sense because….” “I can see how you could see it that way.” “I can see what you are saying …” or “I imagine that you could also be feeling…”
(You’re not saying that you feel the way they do, you are simply saying you understand what they are feeling.)
This might feel counter intuitive, but try it out. It may just steer you clear of a pile of painful misunderstanding.
So, this week, Say What?
Say what you heard, and see if it’s actually what they said.
And don’t forget to leave your comment (look for the “Comments” link at the top of the page)!
PS: How do I love your comments? Let me count the ways. Your comments row my boat gently down a stream. Your comments give peace a chance. Well, at the very least, your comments make my day, so go ahead!
There in the dreamy warm sheets, at the end of the day, I ask my honey, “what was your favorite frame from today?” And then he’ll usually reciprocate and ask me the same.
What’s a “favorite frame,” you ask?
As if the day were a long roll of film, my mind runs it forward and backward along its happenings and pauses to linger on the moments that were most memorable, or that stands out in stark relief from the others.
It’s a fun way to catalog what happened. It’s a sweet way to relate. It’s a respectful way to honor the day and set up for sleep.
The thing about putting your attention on your “favorite frame” is that your mind is attracted to those moments for a reason. There was some impression, some learning, or some importance captured in that frame. Great to suck the marrow our of the what the day’s bones have to teach.
So, this week:
At the end of the day, ask your honey, “what was your favorite frame from today?”
And have honey ask it to you, too.
This also works just as well if your honey is YOU.
And don’t forget to leave your comment (which you’ll find at the top of the page)!
“Each [of us] should frame life so that at some future hour fact and [our] dreaming meet.”
~ Victor Hugo
One of the things I love most is when you send me your questions … why is it that you always “lose” yourself in relationships? should you work on the relationship or get out of it? he said x, how should you respond? she DID x, how should you respond? how can you communicate better with your beloved? the sex is fizzling, what
can be done? …
I love your desire to have relationships that are satisfying page turners, rather than bad mysteries with fizzling middles and painful endings.
I love your desire to cook up strong, savory and sweet partnerships, rather than ones that leave a bad taste in your mouth.
I love your desire to make your Loving more like a Do-It-Yourself project that’s designed to fit you perfectly, rather than a Paint-By-Numbers kit that you’ve outgrown.
I love your desire to know how you can do it Better, show up as more of the Truth of who you are, be more Loving, have more Fun!
And I’ve got a lot to share with you on all of that. A lot.
However, there are two truths that follow how much I love your questions.
1. I am constantly shoveling myself out from under an email avalanche (can you relate?).
2. Your questions are too juicy and rich, for others not to get a piece of ‘em, too!
So, keep bringing me your questions, and I’ll keep dishing out my answers, giving you guidance, pointing you in the direction of further resources … but we’ll do so here on my blog, rather than one-by-one on email.
So, all you have to do is post your question below, and I’ll answer it!
You can use your real name, an alias you’ve always wanted to try on, or remain anonymous. (Oh, and you’ll need to fill out the security question, so I know you are a human, not a ‘bot).
Then, either, check back in a day or so after you’ve posted it. Or if you want the posts to come to you, click the RSS feedburner icon at the top of my blog page. You can always “share it” with your favorite sharing tool, like Facebook or Twitter. Those “share it” links will be right below your question and my answer!
Ready? Set? Ask!
My best to you,