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pick up. [mini relationship tip]

on the steps of the home of my mentor’s brownstone, i described a miserable period of time in my 20s, my ugly duckling phase as i call it. instead of asking, “are you my mother?” like that little duckling did, i asked every tom, dick and harry, “are you my soulmate?”

(i know i’m mixing duck stories here … just wait a bit)

most of the toms, dicks and hairies answered point blank, “no, i’m not,” but i figured i should sleep with them at least once just to make sure.

(rinse, repeat … sigh)

“i had no intuition,” i told my mentor. “oh, darling!” she said (she really does talk like this) you were DEVELOPING your intuition.”

spidey sense. mojo. guidance. inner knowing. your personal oracle. intuition.

i sort of assumed you got yourself one of these by being born with it or being touched by the tip of a fairy godmother’s wand.

but, developed? crafted out of trial and error? improved on? refined? perhaps i wasn’t a lost cause after all.

knowing what to do that’s right for you … this kind of superpowers comes from a combination of 1. LISTENING and 2. PICKING UP. these superpowers feed on repetition over time. they love life experience and grow stronger with your awareness.

1. LISTENING: the CALL of your intuition or spidey sense comes in many forms. words. primal inner grunts. body tingles. signs in the world around you like billboards, novel titles and newspaper headlines.

your guidance speaks a unique language, designed specifically for your ears. so first you have to listen and learn its language. even if you’re getting silence or static for a long time, keep listening. fluency is coming. i promise real-deal mojo is in there – in you. [if you like it, feel free to tweet it]

2. PICKING UP: your instincts calling; are you going to pick up? your inner primal grunt says, “sell the stock.” sell it. the billboard says, “the Philippines are waiting for you,” so you decide to go on the trip with your two friends. your gut contracts slightly and you decide, no second date.

to pick up means to act, leap, try. take your own best advice. heed the call. i won’t promise it will guarantee the obviously perfect outcome. perhaps in hindsight you’ll realize the guidance wasn’t, “sell the stock” it was “salt the stock.”


the point is you listen and you take a step in the direction your inner finger is pointing. rinse, repeat; rinse, repeat. from then on, the process is iterative. you fall on your face less and less. you hone. you get nuanced. you get fluent in oracle-speak.

after enough listening and picking up, you start to find your PLACE, your HOME and your NORTH STAR. you realize you’re carrying the COMPASS inside you. you find yourself surrounded YOUR PEOPLE. you molt your ugly ducking feathers and swan it up.

so, your mission, should you choose to accept it: PICK UP. when you get the call, PICK UP.

the outcome of your action? it’s none of your business for a while, just keep asking, “how high?” when your compass says, “jump!”

by the way, i’m teaching this process of instinct-honing in my upcoming Inner Feminine Badass Bootcamp. take a look and see what your Inner Feminine Badass feels about joining us:

to your PICKING UP what your mojo is putting down,


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