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Archive for January, 2013

i had dinner last night with two of my girlfriends at a sumptuous French bistro by the bay in San Francisco.

these women are stunningly beautiful, smart as whips and entrepreneurial wizards. one’s married to a gorgeous surgeon at the best hospital in SF and the other is in an epic love affair with a millionaire celebrity hottie. they radiate health and contentment.

i was showered in enough brilliance to put PG&E out of business and light up the evening skyline.

so, then the question is: was i crawling out of my skin with envy? did i carefully watch what i said, for fear of seeming stupid or inept? did i worry they would talk shit about me later? did i feel less beautiful, less successful and less lovable as i compared myself to these women and their lives?

read: did i worry if i could really trust these women?

the answer is NO.


and here’s why:

i find that one of the biggest energy leaks for women is the fear and mistrust we have of other women. (if you like it, feel free to tweet it)

over thousands of years (for as long as women have been dependent on others for our food, care, roof-over-our-heads, money, reputation and personal power), we have grown to see other women as threats.

if someone else has control over the stuff you need, you can very quickly get into competition with the other folks who might get your stuff instead of you.

~ she comes from a better family than you? she gets married to the powerful bread-winner, not you.

~ she’s more beautiful than you? she gets the love affair, not you.

~ she’s smarter than you? she gets the drea job, not you.

~ she’s sexier than you? she gets the love. the loyalty, and the soul-shattering orgasms, not you.

~ she makes more money than you? she gets the admiration and the status, not you.

there are two really big stinky problem with this popular line of reasoning:

1. competition is not women’s true nature

2. there are enough love affairs, dream jobs, love, loyalty, orgasms, admiration and status for every woman. and plenty left over.

many of us women are no longer dependent on others for the stuff we need to flourish. (no not ALL women, not by a long shot. but probably YOU)

however, we can still see other women as threats, to be competed with and preferably bested. we still have left-over and outdated mistrust coursing through our DNA, built up over thousands of years.

not ALL women are trustable, yet. but A CERTAIN KIND of women is thoroughly and powerfully trustable:

the woman who is no longer at war with herself, but who has befriended herself.

when a woman begins to revere her body, learns the language of her inner wisdom and prioritizes her juiciness, she then starts to trust her self.

she no longer sees herself as a wild beast, just waiting for her to loose the reins of control for a moment, only to run off into the wilds of fat-lonely-ugly-broke-toothless-and-homeless.

she trusts her desires to lead, is fueled by her sensuality, and is rockin’ her own unique brand of the feminine. (well, maybe you want to tweet this one!)

she’s no longer trying to GET; she has an overflow to GIVE.

and then, she becomes that kind of woman who is thoroughly and powerfully trustable.

your body, your woman’s body, is hooked up to infallible divine guidance. the energy that courses through your veins is the same that infinitely renewable Source that powers life itself, makes babies, urges salmon to swim upstream and bursts cherry blossoms into bloom.

i stand proudly astride my soap box and say (because i know for myself and have observed in other sassy lassies): a woman’s true nature is overflowing-enough-ness.

when your well is full, it naturally overflows in the juiciest of ways on to other people. you get clear on what you want to contribute to the world. you value your voice, tremendously. you take pleasure in your daily moments now while you yearn deliciously for you next adventure.

around you, people can’t wait to be their best selves. your presence is firestick, lighting a flame in their hearts.

can you really trust other women? no, not all of them.

but can you trust the lit-up ones? the ones that are at home in their skins, who have found a compass at their core, who know their worth and who are rocking their own unique brand of the feminine?


you can trust that kind of woman with your child. with your newest, tenderest desire. with the keys to your Porsche or your raw, hurting heart.

you can trust her to hold you with love and respect. you can trust her to call bullshit on you when you need some stretching. you can trust her to remind you of your beauty and brilliance (randomly, and when you need it most).

i have purposely surrounded myself with THIS kind of sisterhood: i hang out with them, mastermind with them, cry with them, party with them and dine with them.

in the presence of their firestick beings, i become LIT.

i pray you have at least one woman like this, if not a dozen, surrounding you.

if not, please get one or some. please. your life – and the woman you know yourself to be – will transform.

the first step is learning how to trust your own bad self, your own woman’s body, so you become that open, confident, tail-swinging, trustable woman who attracts similar women, to her.

so here’s a nice practice, to start it off, and start rocking your own unique brand of the feminine:

1. start with your envy of her. (really)

let’s say her six-pack abs make you green.

2. then, ask yourself if you had that thing you envy, how would it make you feel? what would it make possible for you? (really dig down on this one)

let’s say you come up with something like:

it would make you feel powerful, strong and sexy. it would then be possible to feel lovable and capable of having a beautiful relationship.

3. KNOW THIS: you would not notice that thing in her, if it wasn’t beginning to burn and blossom in you.

that’s how it goes with women. you wouldn’t even perceive her abs (that shorthand for power, strength, sexiness, lovability, etc) if the potential wasn’t IN YOU ALREADY.

4. so, lastly, ask yourself, “in what ways can i notice that in ME today?”

so, in the six-pack-abs example, you’d ask yourself, “in what ways can I notice my power, strength and sexiness today? and while I’m at it, my absolute lovability?”

if you let her, your sweet self will begin to gather evidence of your lovability; she’ll collect examples of your power and strength to lay at your feet and she’ll wink at you, “oo-la-la, sexy!” many, many times in your day.

(AND … let me know at least one way you “rock your unique brand of the feminine,” below in the comments!)

to YOU, stepping fully into this kind of woman (and surrounding yourself with a bunch, too),


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when I was around 13, i started to wonder about – and ask around – what was the meaning of life, existence and all of this? no one really had a satisfying answer, so i figured that it was up to me to figure out the existence biggies: God. Love. Happiness.

i grew up with a distinct lack of dogma and a preponderance of think-outside-the-box-ness. i am grateful for this. i know this is far from the case for so many people.

you likely had God shoved down your throat. Love may have shape-shifted into a mirage, reflected in the glare of the Hollywood sign. Happiness may have became a metaphor: slippery as an eel.

i’ve spent my life, answering for myself, through my own direct experience, the questions of God, of Love, of Happiness. i know ‘em when I meet ‘em. i trust the precise set of sensations in my body that let me know God has visited, that this is Love (or not) and allows me to be cartographer of my Happiness.

there’s a place where all three converge. it’s not Heaven, not Nirvana, not a Cold Stone Creamery near you. it’s actually an unlikely place, perhaps the last place most of us think to look for it.

it’s THIS I trust more than God.

it’s THIS that steers the ways to Love and Happiness.

(and it’s my big WHY to help Any & Every Woman find it for herself.)

you’ve probably heard the story of when god first created humans? well, when humans began to multiply and be fruitful they also began to ask for more and more of god’s time. to escape, god went to the Bahamas, but the humans found her there. god went to a mountain top, but the humans found her there too. so finally god split herself into a zillion little pieces, and placed one piece directly inside each human. because she knew that was the LAST place the humans would think to look for God, the Divine, the Most Holy, and at last She’d get some peace.

(i don’t really think God’s a he or a she, but i had to pick a pronoun, so i picked the underdog one)

that story is all well and good, i just add that the Most Holy placed that little piece of Divine right in your body. your woman’s body. the LAST place most of us would think to look for it.

Body? Don’t trust that, we hear. Body is an animal, trust the rational mind or the cleansed spirit in order to transcend this visceral plane and be worthy of the kingdom of heaven.

Woman’s Body? don’t trust that, we hear. Woman’s Body is the root of all sin, and will lead you to lust, ruin and dancing on the bar of a night club at Spring Break, barefoot and pregnant.

and not only is THIS (that I trust more than God) right in your woman’s body, it’s actually between your legs. definitely the LAST place most of us would think to look for it.

THIS that I trust more than God, I call the Oracle Between Your Legs.

here’s one for us word-nerds: ORACLE: it comes from the Latin verb orare “to speak.”

an Oracle is a source of wise counsel or prophetic predictions, inspired by the gods. Oracular utterances are a form of Divination.

Oracles are portals through which gods speak directly to people. as in, YOU.

bottom line: God – swap out your favorite term for the Divine and Most Holy – speaks to you, through you, through your woman’s body, through your Oracle.

we are talking about embodied wisdom, not theoretical wisdom. your Oracle is this spot on your body where Source Itself meets the material world, and has a party.

God isn’t out there somewhere, She’s right ‘twixt your thighs, m’lady.

i know i just said about 18 heretical things:

* you can know God in your own direct experience. you are not limited to get to God only through some book or path, righteous though they may seem.

* the voice of the Divine can and will guide you into the woman you Truly Are, if you get to know Her voice, Her language and Her communication style.

* you CAN – and must – trust the wisdom of your Woman’s Body to steer.

* the spiritual and the sexual are not separate; in fact, the fuel for Creation itself, for Life-Force Source Energy itself, likewise powers your libido. all humans have access to this, but women are uniquely poised to wield this potent kindling.

* being human, and a human woman at that, is not a fallen condition. there’s nothing to fix, fade or change. the Oracle Between Your Legs is at once your connection to the Divine while also being sweetly humanizing. (if you liked that, feel free to tweet it)

sounds like a pretty great thing to find, eh?

now, Oracles are funny creatures. they are nourished by the very stuff that entire cultures and civilizations discount and overlook entirely, the same stuff that make a woman thrive, glow and blossom into her brilliance.

i’m all about EveryWoman channeling the genius of the Oracle Between Her Legs, and i’ll be taking and teaching all about it this year.

this is what I want to cause an epidemic of:

“It was SO delicious to get back in touch with my Oracle and my feminine side! My life has truly shifted. I feel more positive, confident and centered than I’ve felt in years. My world is awesome again!” ~ Tamara

“This has blasted away doubt and insecurity and reminded me of the power that I already possessed between my legs. It was like the last remaining shards of glass were plucked from my heart and it started to beat freely and openly again.” ~ Tabitha

“My business doubled, and then tripled.” ~ Nisha

“My norm was feeling unworthy, jealous, less okay because I was not who SHE was. I have only recently, because of finding my Oracle, been able to be lifted up by and not broke down by the women around me, both familiar and stranger.” ~ Ceri-Anne

“I now have a deep appreciation of the value of the knowledge I possess and an awareness of the need to share it. And the trust to allow myself to re-brand my website again to accurately reflect who I am and what I have to offer the world.” ~ T.G.

“A lovely constant of happiness & joy as anxiety & doubt slip ever farther away. I am filled w/a DEEP sense of peace & well-being and excitement over whatever new adventure is around the corner for me while immensely enjoying my daily moments NOW.” ~ Gladys

“What a pleasure to engage with my body on a physical level and listen to its desires.” ~ Goddess

“I got the guy I married back! I feel like I’m a bride on my honeymoon again!” ~ Kristina

“Last night I had the biggest orgasm ever and so did HE!!!!!!” ~ Candice

your Oracle won’t make your life perfect, but it does make it impossible to feel truly lost, ever again.

so, please stay tuned in the coming weeks and months. i’ve got great tips, articles, courses and experiences, all crafted to help you find YOUR Oracle.

and then, watch out world! the lit-up ladies are a’comin!

but for now, please leave a comment:

what lets you know you can trust yourself?
what lets you know you can trust another?

to what YOU trust, without doubt,


hello and welcome to 2013!

i am a bit of a thesaurus addict and dictionary devotee.

when writing this post about vows and commitments (good and worthy topics for the top of a new year), i found these definitions striking:


:: to solemnly promise to do a specified thing; to dedicate to someone or something, especially a deity.


:: to pledge, devote or bind to a certain course of action; to be in a long-term emotional relationship with

somewhere in the moment when 2012 became 2013, i made some simple vows to myself for the upcoming year:

* Be Oracle Led. (have my Sourced bodily wisdom, the deity that is in me, lead the way)

* Take My Full Share. (of the moment, of life, of love)

* Be Bold. (insert my wisdom into the moment, with exuberance)

for the ceremony in which i committed to these vows, i created an intricate dance performance – involving a projection of me dancing with my live dancing self, a beautiful musical score, to an audience of the most extraordinary humans i know.

here’s a sneak peek image from the performance:

and here’s my guideline for creating your own vows and commitment ceremony:

your own commitment ceremony (your vow exchange with You), need not be as complex as all that. it can certainly be involved, and include the goodstuffs of ceremony, or you can keep it simple and simply Hear Yourself as you make your vow(s).

all that stuff of ceremony (like candles, incense, singing, dancing, setting the space, gathering witnesses, etc) PREPARES you to step into the Sacred, Holy and True, but you don’t NEED any of it.

the moment your heart speaks the vow IS the moment of commitment, and that can happen anytime, anywhere, no bells, whistles or cathedrals needed.

the Divine is everywhere. the Holy knows when you mean it or not. and you know when it’s True. (if you liked that, feel free to tweet it)

so, your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Your Commitment Ceremony To You

1. create a vow (or vows) to You.

what do you solemnly pledge to do, be and uphold for yourself this year, even when you don’t feel like it – especially when you don’t feel like it?

(said differently, what course of action are you devoted to? what do you promise to yourself? what do you agree to uphold? who do you vow to BE, in rough times as well as smooth, in this long-term relationship you happen to be in, with Yourself?)

i say, come up with ONE powerful vow. or two or three. when you can remember them off the top of your head, you know you’re really going to do ’em.

2. plan (and do) your commitment ceremony.

it can be long or short. take yourself on an afternoon, a day or a weekend getaway. or grab 2 minutes of silence on the bus on the way to work. rent out a church, or do it on the toilet.)

it can involve real jewels and killer duds, or a gum-ball ring and your favorite sweats. however, i do recommend you have some item, like a ring, a necklace, a picture, or somesuch that acts as an anchor to remind you of your vow or vows.

(that’s the real reason we use a ring in a marriage commitment ceremony: to look down at your hand and see the daily reminder of your vows)


get Real, get Sacred, bring your vow(s) and your talisman and do the deed.

and of course, make my year by letting me know a vow or two of yours in the comments below!

welcome to 2013 and the You you are bringing into it,